I have always been a rock and roll dog. I prefer rock ballads. My owner can play guitar. We often sit and write songs together. My influences are old-school rock stars like Jackson Browne, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, and Neil Young. I also like the rock and roll mavericks who started it all, like Roy Orbison, who sang Crying.
Roy has a voice like mine when he croons, “Crying over you.” Cry-yah-yah-yah-yah-ing! I can make the neighbor’s dogs join in when I hit those notes.
I want you to be the first to enjoy the new song we wrote. It is called, “Look! Squirrel,” and it goes something like this…
Here are the lyrics.
In the yard minding my business,
Smelling around for a good place to poop.
What’s that? I caught it in the corner of my eye.
A squirrel who must want to die.
It jumped past my nose on the way up a tree.
As if to say it had no fear of me.
OOOOH, I sang out, how can that be?
A small little squirrel gets the best of me.
Well, I barked, and I barked,
And I jumped up and down.
That little squirrel made me feel like a clown.
My owner called me in with no more time to play.
I’ll have to catch that squirrel some other day.
I know what you are thinking. How can a dog have such complex thoughts and sing about such deep emotional things?
Well, it is actually fairly easy because all the words come out sounding like woo, woo, woo.
You humans still chatter like monkeys. But the canine species communicate by telepathy.
What may sound like a simple woo, woo, woo to a human, to a dog, it sounds like elegant poetry.
Woo with the thought of a squire. Woo with the thought of a tree. Woo, woo, when I am thinking about how sad I will be if I don’t’ catch that little rascal!
After I went inside, I sat down at my owner’s feet, and we did a jam session. I think we came up with a pretty good tune, if I say so myself.
I have some other ideas for an album that covers classic rock ballads with a canine spin.
Here are some of my ideas for songs to cover, some with new lyrics:
- Imagine by John Lennon. “Imagine there are no cats. It’s easy if you try. No feline kitties to make a grown dog cry.”
- Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley. “Wise men say, dogs are man’s best friend, so that is why I can’t help falling in love with my dog again.”
- Drop It Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dogg. The lyrics are already perfect. “I’m a nice dude, with some nice dreams. See these ice cubes, see these ice creams?”
- Who Let the Dogs Out by Baha Men. “Who let the dogs out? Do it again!”
Man, all those songs are woo, woo, woo, and woo!