Smart Golden Retriever Knows how to use iPhone

Okay, before I start my story, let me just ask you this: have you ever done something embarrassing in your sleep? Like you talked, or maybe you rolled off the bed… or maybe you snored?

I bet all of you have done something at some point! Now let me ask you something else: did someone record you doing it so they could mess with you later? I hope all of you answered ‘no’.

Well, unfortunately I wasn’t so lucky. My human thought it would be hilarious to record me while I was snoring and show me afterwards! Argh, how embarrassing!

This isn’t the first time they’ve done this either. This human is addicted to this little… rectangle… camera… phone call thingie, and they’re always recording! They use fancy things called “Insta” and “Tick-tock” (like the clock?) to share pictures and videos. These ones of me snoring better not end up on there!

My human always shows me what they recorded too, probably because they thought I’d find it funny. Well, it’s not funny in the slightest! I happen to have a form of doggie sleep apnea that makes me snore loudly some nights. It’s something I’ve had for years, and I’m looking into doggie CPAP machines to fix the problem! They’ll invent them some day, I’m sure of it.

But in the meantime, I have to endure these regular annoyances. So what do I do when I’m presented with one of these ridiculous recordings? I shut the video off! That’s right. You wanna show me your latest entry to America’s Funniest Home Videos? Well, it’s going off!

Yeah, no more of that silliness. I can’t think of anything more mortifying than having my sleep recorded! You know what? One of these days I’m gonna grab this rectangle and record the humans while they’re snoring! Sometimes they’re so loud that it wakes me up in the next room over! Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll grab this phone while they’re fast asleep and get to recording! You watch out, humans, because this doggie knows how to handle a rectangle, and they’re not afraid to use it!