Sailing The High Seas In My Orange Life Vest

Have you ever known a dog who didn’t love having the wind in his face? Whether it is during a car ride with the window rolled down or on a boat, we dogs enjoy the fresh air blowing and ruffling our faces. Last weekend I got to enjoy a boat ride on my grandpa’s pontoon boat with my family.

It is one of my favorite things to do in life, just cruising, listening to some Neil Diamond with my jaws flapping in the breeze. That’s just “The Boat that I Row”. My children love going on a boat ride too because they know they’ll get ice cream afterwards. We go to a local marina and they have come to expect ice cream with a boat ride — little Pavlov’s dogs.

My family calls me Captain Fatneck — I’m not quite sure where they’re getting Fatneck from but I’ll go with it as I love to captain a vessel. Here I am surveying the windy seas in my trusty life jacket. I am Ralph, boat captain.

Safety is always a concern with us captains, so I am thankful my family suited me up in a life jacket. Rough winds could come and shake our fair vessel and if I were to be flung overboard, I feel and should be safer in this vest. According to the American Boating Association, in 2016 in boating accidents with reported life jacket usage, 83% of drowning victims were not wearing a life jacket. 83%! That’s a really high amount and it makes me wonder what the drowning rate would be if everyone wore a life jacket. I am doing my part to stay as safe as I can on the high seas.

It fits really well and was super easy for my mom to put on me, which is saying a lot since she gets easily confused by apparati and accessories that are somewhat complex. And I love the bright orange color– I may be guilty of peacocking but a guy needs to stand out this day and age to attract the ladies.

Don’t I look dapper? Kentucky woman, she get to know you, she get to own you! Sorry, I just love that song because my mom is from Kentucky. That Neil Diamond- musical genius, I tell you, with the voice of an angel….well, an angel who chain smokes, but his voice is so beautiful and just what I want to hear floating on the gentle air currents that drift past as I’m cruising down the waterway in my orange life vest.

Until next time my friends! And if you know a fair maiden who also enjoys sailing the local seas, please send her my way!