I might not be the biggest pup, but as the adage goes – dynamite comes in small packages. Today, I am training my hooman in the fine art of volleyball booping – volleybooping! From what I’ve seen, she’s not very good at it. In fact, she’s always in complete awe when I show her my skills. Today I am going for a record number of boops. Maybe my sportsmanship will inspire her.
Okay, so my hooman is just holding the ball really awkwardly. I tell her to drop it so we can get going with our practice session. That’s right Mom, up in the air and then drop. I boop it with my nose right away. Pow!
Then, I pass it to her. Oh dear, she just sort of bats at it with her hand. I’m not quite sure how to tell her that she needs to use her nose. Maybe she’s a bit nervous. Practice makes perfect, Mom.
My new tactic is just to show my hooman how to play volleyboop. Maybe if she watches me for long enough, she’ll figure it out. Sheesh, she really needs to loosen up her limbs.
Anyway, rule number one of volleyboop is that THE FLOOR IS ALWAYS LAVA. I’m showing Mom so that she knows the ball can never touch the ground. If it touches the ground, you run the risk of becoming disqualified.
After a bit of a shaky start, I’m getting really into it now. The trick is to find a rhythm. And then to match your pace to your rhythm. The way that Mom is just standing around, I don’t know if she’s ready to commit to all the running.
Not trying to be rude Mom, but if you want to be a volleybooper, you need to put in the motions. It’s not enough to just boop the ball – you need to BE the ball.
Oh my gosh, I’m on a roll. This is my personal best streak ever. Mom is amazed, she can’t even move. I feel so alive. The ball is booping off my nose like no one’s business. I don’t want Mom to feel bad because of her lack of skill but wow, I AM ON FIRE today.
Mom needs to get out the way. I’m about to go for my biggest boop streak yet. Alright, watch me go. One, two, three, four, five…ten, eleven, twelve.
Holy heck, no doggo in the history of volleyboop has conquered the ball quite like this.
Mom is so proud of me. She’s telling the family. I tell her that one day, she’ll also be a pro booper. Well, maybe not, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
