Attention ladies: I’m soft, cuddly, love holding eye contact and I’ll always keep your feet warm. If you drop something on the floor, I’ll happily pick it up for you. If you want to snuggle, I’ll be there. In short, I am the perfect companion. The only catch is I’m not exactly what you would call…human. I’m a dog and I have a message for all the men out there: I’m here to steal your girl!
1. When was the last time your man dressed up this nice? Chances are he never has. Peep my perfectly symmetrical bow tie – it gleams just like the light as it reflects from your beautiful eyes.
2. It is often said chivalry is dead. Though human males aren’t exactly chivalrous in 2021, dogs are! I brought flowers and I’m ready to steal your girl!
3. If your man is like most, the thought of bringing you a flower wreathe probably hasn’t crossed his mind. Just be sure to wipe off the slobber before hanging my beautiful creation on your door.
4. Human males might be tall and handsome but they don’t bake! I’m here to bake you a tasty delight and show you why I’m woman’s best friend.
5. If you aren’t impressed by the computerized music made with autotune your boyfriend plays to “set the mood”, you deserve better. Let me serenade you with my guitar and my melodic moon-howling, leaving your significant other wondering how I stole his girl!
6. Tired of hanging around the house while your man plays video games? Spend the afternoon outdoors with a distinguished fellow with impeccable hair, a boogie scarf, the finest literature and warm coffee.
7. I promise to smile whenever I see you. I’ll even surprise you with lovely flowers straight from the neighbor’s landscaping. It’s why they call me Mr. Steal Your Girl!
8. Why settle for one man when you can have two furry friends who always greet you with a smile and flowers?
9. I can’t wait until he goes to work so I can have you all to myself.
10. How can you resist a face like this? The best part is my breath smells like bacon! Can your man say the same? I think not.
11. If he only knew that my secret mission is to steal his girl…
12. Worried about me stealing your girl? She’s already been stolen!
13. Heart-shaped balloons are just the start. My shiny hair, loving eyes and gentle touch are sure to help me steal your girl.
14. Can you double as a soft pillow for your woman? I think not.
15. When was the last time your woman kissed you like this?
16. You must be struggling to please your girl. That’s why she has resorted to playing with toys…toy dogs, that is.
17. Roses are red, violets are blue…how does the rest go? All I know is it ends with me stealing your girl!
18. Hold on tight because I’m about to steal your girl!
