I’m so excited! Why you ask? It’s because the Summer Olympics are almost here. And judging the perplexed look on your face, you’re wondering why a dog is excited about the Olympics. Boy, for a human, you miss the obvious, don’t you?
I’m in a pool so put two and two together. No, I’m not entering the doggie paddle race. I have nothing against those athletes, but for me, it’s a bit too, well, domesticated. I mean, any canine can swim, especially doing the doggie paddle. I know this will sound pompous, but I’m more sophisticated than your average mutt. I prefer the finer things in life, so it should be no surprise to you that I’ll be representing the Labrador Nation in the synchronized swimming competition.
Trust me; there’s nothing like crafting a water ballet to the music of the masters like Beethoven or Wagner. Oh, sure, occasionally, we loosen it up and create dance moves to go along with hip hop or pop songs. But for the most part, we are a classically trained troupe of dancers.
I mean, look at this pose! Our choreographer calls it The Beg but fans around the world call it cute! Now picture me with my entire squad posing like this in an Olympic size pool, and you can see why The Beg is a crowd favorite and scores well with the judges.
The next move that scores well is The Paw. Simplistic in nature yet represents so much more, especially to our human owners. Olympic crowds get emotional when we make this move, and even those strict judges smile ever so slightly.
We really tug at the heartstrings with this one. Our choreographer took the basics of The Beg but added us lowering our eyes to take in the adoring fans. Even the cynics gush at this point, especially when we toss in our Michael Jackson “moonwalk” out into deeper water.
Our pièce de résistance is aptly named The Bunny Hop. We line up, tuck in our paws, and hop like bunnies through the water. When the music crescendos, we snap our heads in unison toward the crowd and receive a standing ovation and loud accolades. It’s a showstopper, for sure, and the judges typically rank it high as well.
This year, our Labrador troupe is ranked number one in the world, but there’s a rumor circulating that the Mexican Chihuahua team will steal the show. Time will tell. As for me, I’ll keep practicing and practicing until gold is ours!
