I know you humans sing about Puppy Love. The song Puppy Love was first released by Paul Anka in 1960 and then covered by Donny Osmond in 1972. Anka wrote the song for Annette Funicello, who was a Mouseketeer on The Mickey Mouse Club television program. He had a crush on her.
The first lines of the song’s lyrics are the most memorable. They are, “And they called it puppy love. Oh, I guess they’ll never know how a young heart really feels and why I love her so.”
While you humans may still wonder about puppy love, it just comes naturally for a puppy like me.
There are five rules of the puppydom world that I want you to know.
Rule 1: Playing and Eating
There are a few important things to puppies, which are eating, playing, and more eating. We do like sleeping too, but only after plenty of playing and eating.
Rule 2: Wake Up Early
If the sun is up and you move ever so slightly, you are awake, and it is time to get up. Don’t even try to pretend to be asleep when you open one eye to see what we are doing.
We can smell when you are awake. You always have bad breath in the morning when you first get up. Your beard is fun to play with, but it needs a trim. Human fur only grows in a few places, and it is not very soft.
Rule 3: Energy
Puppies have endless energy until we run out. We will go and go and go. Then, all of a sudden, we will lie down and fall asleep. If we choose to fall asleep in your lap, it is your job to sit there and try to be as comfortable for us as possible.
Rule 4: Chewing
Our favorite technique for a puppy attack is to bite you. Our teeth are so small they cannot do much damage, but they are sharp. If we nip your ear lobe enough to make it bleed a little, it is only a sign of affection. If you don’t like love bites, you have to give us something else to chew on. We prefer the fine leather of your nicest shoes to cheap plastic dog toys.
If you don’t think we are cute, then we will launch one puppy attack after another until you surrender and finally admit we are the cutest thing on the planet. We are cuter than anything else. We are number one on the cuteness scale.
Rule 5: Sharing
Anything worth eating is worth sharing with your puppy. Don’t even dare to think about eating something in front of us without giving us some of it. We are counting on you to provide our entertainment and constantly give us delicious things to eat.
Now that you understand the rules of puppydom, we hope you will follow them, and we can induct you into the Puppy Owners’ Hall of Fame for being the kindest, most loving human we know.