I found the best thing today: a human who speaks my language. Well, almost. He is a really, really small human. In fact, he is almost the same size as me. When I heard the noise he was making, it sounded just like me and my friends.
The only thing is that he does not quite make sense when he is speaking. I think I will have to teach him how to speak more sense. I hope he isn’t scared of me. He looked at me in the face and didn’t run away.
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I’ve seen how some humans are scared of dogs, and they can run very fast. I just talked to him. I didn’t frighten him.
Alright, I’m trying to train this small human. I’m sure he’s telling me how great I am, but I can’t quite make out what he’s saying.
Oh wait, did he just say I was the handsomest boy he’s ever seen? Yup, I think I heard that correctly. He’s not wrong, but he could sure work on his bark-ciation.
Let’s try this again, little human. Say I’m the greatest with a loud, clear RUFFFFF.
Ugh, it’s getting a little better, but now he’s invading my personal space. I know he thinks I’m cute, but today’s lesson is a vocal one. Back off, little human!
Don’t you get it? Loud and chipper – “I AM THE GREATEST!” Repeat after me, you can do it!
Oh, miniature human, we’re relying on you to get the point across to all the rest of the humans now. About just how great I am. Until we can train them all on our language. But I’m not sure if you’re up for the task quite yet.
We’ll have to try again tomorrow.. your attention span seems to be worse than mine!
I’m going to have to find this human’s owner so I can charge for my lessons. We’re off to a good start, but I can’t be out here working for free!
Regardless, I’m excited about the potential my new mini human friend and I have. Until we meet again, small man!