I don’t sing in the shower. I perform.

Dog shower

I pride myself on a well groomed appearance as a distinguished southern gentleman. Most of the time, I’m pretty low maintenance and only need a few baths a year. Sometimes I take matters into my own hands, well, neck and head really, and roll in the best shampoo and perfume known to dogs- goose poop. Or any animal poop really, so fragrant…just not other dog poop, ew that would be gross! What kind of neanderthal do you take me for? Anyway, Mom and Dad have kept me from the animal poop lately (and interestingly enough that leads to a bath which I don’t understand) so bath it was. Here’s the shower thing they use. I like that it makes bath time faster and more efficient.

Before I had to wait while they filled a cup, the whole time they’re telling me “Don’t shake, Ralph”. Don’t shake?!? Is water not wet?!? Silly humans. This way they get the water right on me where it needs to be, and it gives me a gentle massage while it washes away any grime. Also makes it easier to clean up all of my hair that goes everywhere. More on that later.

Aw come on Mom and Dad! Do I really have to?!?

Ah, Mom lathering me up with the shampoo. They buy lavender and chamomile oatmeal soap. The lavender and chamomile is supposed to be relaxing for this old hound dog, and the oatmeal is supposed to help with any itching skin.

Its fragrance might not be as nice as the aforementioned other animal poop, but it is quite nice and leaves me fresh and clean. See me starting to relax too?

Getting the spray down- not sure if more is getting on me or Mom.

Looking like a drowned rat – aw shucks Mom is it over yet?

My favorite part- getting dried off! This is the stuff dreams are made of!

So fresh and so clean!

See, now I’m fully relaxed and loving life. Baths are the best- if only I could get the results without having to go through them. But I soldier on. I’m ready for my closeup!

And here’s a closeup of the drain and the hair catcher…super hairy but my parents are glad that stuff isn’t clogging their drain!

What is it humans say? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure? A stitch in time saves nine? A hair on the grate looks like something I once ate? (ok I’m struggling for a rhyme here but you get my drift). Happy showering friends! I’m off to chase some squirrels!

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