Cat knocks over a vase and the innocent dog is left behind looking guilty.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I’m innocent, I swear! The cats have had it in for me ever since I accidentally ate their squirrely squeaky toy. I didn’t mean any harm; it just looked and sounded so delicious! Sure I get excited sometimes when I’m chasing a ball, but I would never knock over a plant. This was a two-cat job. Mittens lured me over, promising that Human-Steve dropped a nice piece of chicken in the corner. That’s when Smoky struck.
I’m a good boy. Human-Steve tells me all the time. Good boys don’t knock over vases. Dogs who knock over vases are bad boys who get their belly rubbing privileges revoked.
I should have known I was walking into a trap when I saw the camera set up, but I’m a very trusting dog. I thought maybe it was intended to catch a magic moment of friendliness between Mittens and I-we don’t have very many. Usually, she just steals my food and bops my nose.
The worst part, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is I never found that piece of chicken Mittens mentioned. I kept looking, but Human-Steve must have picked it up. I’m getting word from my lawyer that there may never have been any chicken-that Mittens made it up just to make my paws dirty in this vicious crime. And I fell for it. I am so ashamed; maybe I don’t even deserve belly rubs!
Let’s not jump to conclusions, though. I am, at heart, a good boy, I promise you. I do not knock over furniture-that, I assure you-is an action so sinister, it could only be committed by cats. And not just any cats-cats with grudges. I believe once the jury reviews the footage, they will see I’m an innocent dog and will acquit me of all charges, reinstating my status of a good boy!
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